Category Archives: Uncategorized

Latin has no word for grey

Have you ever played look-a-likey? If you have a life, then probably not.

We don’t have a life so look-a-likey is always on our agenda. It’s the sort of game you play in a restaurant when you’ve run out of interesting things to say. So once we’ve chewed over the weather, the price of Cloudy Bay, and the waiter’s BO we play look-a-likey.

Find a fellow diner or train passenger or supermarket shopper and match them to their celebrity doppelganger.

Weirdly, the last two occasions we have played this game the look-a-likes turned out to be the actual celebrity.

At Haydock Park a few weeks ago the diminutive little chap in the parade ring wasn’t one of the jockeys, but Michael Owen. I had no idea that he was even interested in horses. But then, as I said, I don’t get out a lot. Her indoors new all about his equine pursuits of course, but then, she doesn’t miss much.

She didn’t miss much in Tolo’s either, a beach restaurant in Puerto Pollenca. I thought she was paying rather too much attention to the four cyclists parking their machines on the pavement, maybe it was all that lycra? Actually it was look-a-likey Sir Chris Hoy, only it was actually Sir Chris Hoy. Lunch with a Lord of the Realm, and winner of 3 Olympic Golds. He didn’t pick up the tab though.

Espana por favor?

We made it back between plumes from Majorca. It was all a little nerve-wracking. Ryanair has just grounded two jets at Belfast having found volcanic ash in their engines. To be honest, I was more worried about the hazards in the cabin. Two braying stag parties competed for the attention of a dozen Scouse lasses on a hen do.

Chanting, jeering, belching drunkards, and that was just the girls. Which reminds me:

Bloke was sitting on a barstool, drinking a pint, at Heathrow airport, when a really beautiful woman sat down next to him. Bloke thought to himself, “Wow, she’s so gorgeous, she must be a flight attendant, but which airline does she work for?”

Being a bit of a know-all and hoping to pick her up, he leaned towards her and uttered the Delta slogan, “Love to fly and it shows?”

She gave him a blank, confused stare, and bloke immediately thought to himself, “Damn, she doesn’t work for Delta”.

A moment later, another slogan popped into his head. He leaned towards her again, “Something special in the air?”

She gave him the same confused look.

He mentally kicked himself and scratched Singapore Airlines off the list.Next he tried the Thai Airways slogan, “Smooth as silk”.

This time the woman turned on him, “What the f*** do you want?”

Bloke smiled, and said, “Ah, Ryanair!”

We stayed in Pollensa. There weren’t many hen parties there, but hoards of old ladies with zimmer frames and purple perms, with veins to match.

The weather was fantastic. Made us realise just how long our winter has been. We’re having a serious think about shipping out. Just for a few months. Just to get over the bloody winter. Pipe dreams. But with a laptop and phone each, why not? Global villages.

Anyway, back home, to the rain and central heating and political chaos. What happened to you all? Clegg didn’t manage to convert all the hype, and you Brits aren’t as liberal as you’d like to think you are.

Tough times ahead with all the Clubmed Countries on the brink of bankruptcy.

What a mess.

We’d all like to vote for the best man but he’s never a candidate.

Back from Egypt now. I think it was Egypt anyway, only there for 24 hours and didn’t venture from the hotel. There just wasn’t time. The meetings went well, orders were placed, and there are more samples and demo kit on their way to our customers. The new products were well received, so we were really pleased about that.

I wasn’t very pleased about the volcanic ash cloud on the way home though.

Several UK airports were closed again. I certainly didn’t want to be marooned in Paris, especially when we’re off to Majorca in 24 hours on our postponed weekend away… Postponed as a result of the last volcanic ash fracas.

(Icelandic Volcano? I thought the dust was coming from Man City’s trophy cabinet!) I think it’s too soon to make jokes about the Icelandic volcano…we should at least wait until the dust settles.

We’ll be missing fall out of another kind anyway. The election looms and as I cannot vote, I am canvassing her indoors. She would of course be mad not to vote LibDem, and no, not just cos it’s all about the orange. However, in our constituency there is a candidate standing for The True English (Poetry) Party.

She’s threatening to vote for them. And I don’t think she’s winding me up.

The Cheeky Girls, famous of course for being the escort of Lembit Opik.



A very happy royal birthday to Queen Beatrix,

As you know, I don’t need any excuse to wear orange,  but today, all the daft Dutch in the world can go mad. I have to get my hands on one of these, uh huh huh:

This is a typical occasion for oranjegekte (orange craze), when the colour orange is a ubiquitous sight, referring to the name of the Dutch royal family, the House of Orange. There are orange banners, orange coloured foods and drinks, and extreme amounts of orange clothing and creative accessories are worn as well. Sometimes even the water in the fountains is dyed orange.

This is a great site to learn more about our weirdness:

And just to finish off, you can see what a class event it is by watching this video:

Chavez chats online…

If you have been following the election here in the UK you will know how important the televised debates have been. The LibDems were nowhere before the charismatic appearance of Nick Clegg on the first debate.

Twitter, and other networking sites went bonkers. Thousands of comments from members of the public as well as journalists and political commentators had a huge impact on the way the second debate was played out.

Politics by Twitter. The internet election.

Interesting that neither Gordon Brown, nor David Cameron are Twitterers.

David Cameron was quoted last year saying ‘too many tweets make a twat’.

Hugo Chavez, the leader of Venezuela has a Twitter account. His first tweet appeared on his chavezcandanga account in the early hours of Wednesday morning. A few hours later, 29,000 followers had signed up. His communications advisors are hoping for 7 million more. And who can blame them? Delivering his weekly TV show Alo Presidente, Mr Chavez once went on air for eight hours and 15 minutes without a break. Try doing that with 140 characters or fewer.

My meeting in Egypt on Monday – very topical!

The Dutch are everywhere…

‘I could never believe in a game where the one who hits the ball least wins.’


Put it like that and maybe it’s time to take up tennis. I had a lesson with the pro at the club and changed one or two things. It worked for three holes and then we were back to nicky nacky noo.

I just don’t understand it, especially when I learnt that Tiger Woods is one-eighth Dutch. We might even be related. I know what you’re wondering – which eighth is that then?

Someone else in the news with a bit of the Old Dutch in him is Nick Clegg, leader of the LibDems, (his mother is Hermance van den Wall Bake!) I don’t have a vote in the UK, but if I did it would be for the Liberal Democrats, I would love a hung parliament, unlike the majority of British businesses polled today:

‘The British Chambers of Commerce found that 65% of 300 firms it polled were either “concerned” or “very concerned” about the prospect of no clear winner.’

And they’re off…

“C’mon Dover, move your bloomin’ arse”

Conjure up the Ascot scene in My Fair Lady… those black and white costumes, the elegance.. every duke and earl and peer is here, and then forget all that, because Haydock Park is to Ascot, what our local chippy is to The Savoy.

We went last night, for the evening meeting. Racing and a Beatles revival band. Sounded great on paper, and was actually fascinating, but maybe not for all the right reasons.

So much fake tan and hairspray, so little time. I was scared. Very scared. The fillies in the parade ring were less threatening!

We were celebrating a great week for PMB. With new orders under our belts for sim cards and scratch cards, and a handset trial in Namibia successfully completed, we certainly can’t complain.

I’m off to Egypt at the weekend for important meetings on social networking solutions.